M Sheep Headspace Shareholders Meeting

The man at the end of the table finished adjusting the sheep helmet over his head before leaning forward in his chair, gloved fingers steepled under his fake ceramic muzzle. "Well, lets bring this meeting to a start then. Thank you all for meeting me here under such short notice. No doubt your wondering just why I called you all here." He took this moment to dramatically look slowly around all those gathered, taking great pains to make his glasses and the painted M on the sheep helmet's forhead to glare menacingly under the  harsh light.

"Dude, where's the cake. I was told there would be cake."

"What? No, I never said-"

"If he gets cake, I'd better get some fucking booze! How else am I going to drown out your whining horseshit."

"...I do not whine!"

"And why are these lights so Goddamn bright?!! Tun them the fuck down, damnit!!"

The author sheepishly twiddled his fingers. "I-I thought they were kind of cool. It'd make this meeting seem all mysterious and sinister-Wait." He sprang forward in his chair to point towards Sister Alice accusingly. "You're blind! How can you even-"

A dour baritone voice cut him off with even tones that still managed to convey a sense of finality. "While I disagree with Sister Alice's language, I must agree that the lighting in here is bordering on ridiculous."

"Et tu, Father Squid?"

"Urm. I'm afraid so, this is really hurting my eyes." The cephalopodic priest rumbled under a visor splayed hand.

The author's muffled sigh was still audible. He slouched over the table in deafeat. "Fine. Your totally ruining the dramatic tension, I'll have you know!"

"We appreciate your sacrifice."

The harsh bearing lights above them abruptly switched off, plunging the room into darkness for a few moments before the room was filled with a soft light from identifyable source revealing a rather standard block shaped room.

"Really? This all you could come up with?"

"Well, I didn't think I was going to have to show the room so I just went with the first thing that popped into my head...It's not like you guys gave me any time to fancy it up a bit."

"Yes, you are rather slow, aren't you?"

"......Does anyone have anything to say that isn't a personal attack on my person?......Just..just put your hand down, February."

"I couldn't help but notice you seem to be having a little trouble staying in control here, mostly because I've been busy stifling my own laughter, and thought I might be able to give you a hand-"

"OOOH NO! OH FUCKING NO. You sit down and shut the fuck up. Goddamn vultures, I'm not out of the city for a week and they start coming out of the woodwork."

The shade faded out until it was only a light stain in the air in visible discomfort, and maybe a little fear of, Alice. "I didn't mean to step on any toes, madam-"

"Don't give me that bullshit while your getting your filthy juju hands all over my city! I know how your type operates you two faced smug sonuvabitch! You think you can pull one over on ME!! I CAN GODDMAN SEE YOU! I've been putting your kind back where they belong before you were even jizzed out of some demon's barbed COCK!! I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR SMUG SKULL OUT OUT OF THAT MASSIVE SHIT YOU CALL A FACE  AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH IT!!!"

*Bzzt*"Oh God! Get in the Alice handlers in here NOW!!"

--ROUGHLY TEN MINUTES LATER--

A notably disheveled author, a large crack running down his sheep mask, addresses those around the table who remain. "A-alright then, I think we're ready to reconvene now...The, uh, Professor has opted to skip out on the rest of the meeting, and Alice is currently in Time Out in the most secure container available. and, oh, all my papers are messed up now. Does anyone know where we left off?"

"You lost control of the meeting before we could even get that far." Dr. Albrecht elected to pipe in. "So I would like to get to examing the scripts, as you call them, for this season."

"T-that actually seems reasonable. Proceed, by all means."

"The short of it is that your behind on everything. Your all over the place and can't stick to one storyline so now they've ended up all over the place. Did we even ever find out what happened to that thing in the junkyard that ended up with some of Jonesy's blood?  What ever happened to the magical items stolen  during the church fire? And I'm sure Meatboy's phone number is sitting around somewhere...Regardles, your idiocy is normally tolerable, but now it's causing delays in my own work. Do your job."

"And there's that infamous Albrecht bedside manner. I think you'll find I'm leading up to something."

"Really, because I'm rapidly coming round to the opinion that your just making it up as you go along."

"I..UNF....YOU!....GAH! How dare you-"

"Baa.", the sheep seated at the author's left noted between a mouthfull of paper.

"What? No. I mean, I know you've been kind of been swept to the sidelines lately but-"

"Whoa. We have scripts?"

"Hmm, that's the question, isn't it?"

"Dr. Albrecht, that's quite enough. You've already voiced your..concerns over this season's script. Let's give the man a moment to answer, hm?"

"I^IIIIII I#IIIIIIII"

"See, now Mr. Blik has the right idea. Let's just-"

"IIII wwwwwaaannnnnnnnt aaa zzzzzzzzzztorrrrrrryyyyyllinnnnnnnne too!"

"Ugh. Go back to your corner, Beelzebub. Nobody likes you."

"Aaaaaaawww."

"And what about us, eh? You talked the boys up something fierce, but so far you've just left us to twist in the wind."

"Oh come on! You don't even have a text color yet!"

"Man, Squidface, how can you tolerate this three ring circus?"

"Patience, Mr. Fox, and my faith in God's plan. And the occasional cold one."

"I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this. This whole thing has been a giant waste of my time."

"I^IIIII III>#IIIIIIII"

"Ah! Sheep, please don't eat the script!"

"I appeared in one scene last season."

"Wow, uh, yea, Mr. Desmond really hasn't had more than one scene."

"TRULY ABOMINABLE!! THIS SCRIPT IS BARELY FIT TO WIPE MINE HINDQUARTERS WITH! NEVER HAVE I SEEEEEEEEEEEN SUCH A TRULY HACK JOB!! HOMER ROOOOOOOOOLLS IN HIS GRAAAVE!!!!"

"Inside voices, Dr. Grendel.."

"I APOLOGISE!! MY EMBARESSMENT IS TRULY IMMENSE!! I HAVE BROUGHT DISHONOUR TO THE HOSPITAL AND MY FELLOW DOCTORS, BOTH!!! OOOH, THE SHAAAAAAAAME!!!

"This is theatening to make me redundant."

The man a the end of the table clears his throat audibly, causing a deafening, tense silence to fall almost instantaneously. He adjusts his straw hat with great, casual silence before he speaks.

"Now, I'm sure Mr M. here has written a wonderful script. And I have great faith you folks can bring it to life. You guys'll do great. Last season was good, this one will be better. Okay? Now I'm going to turn thefloor back over to Mr. M"

"You are? I MEAN  thank you, sir."

The man tugs his hat with a suntanned smile in response. The donkey standing beside him twitches an ear.

"Well, uh, with those enheartening words, I bring this meeting to a close." The author bangs his gavel. Only to promptly throw it high into the air. "HAPPY NEW SEASON, EVERYONE!"