PLEASEDONOTATTWMPTTOADJUSTYOURTELEVISIONSET

DONOTPANIC. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR MINDS IN THE UPRIGHT OPEN POSITION UNTIL NORMAL SANITY IS RESUMED.

LIES BEGIN AND END WITH THOUGHT. THEREFORE, ONE MAY THEORISE THAT IF WE TRULY WERE CREATED BY A PERSONAL GOD OF DIVINE APATHIA, DIVINE ATHAMBIA, DIVINE APHASIA, WHO LOVES US DEARLY, AS POSTULALTED BY PUNCHER AND WATTMAN, FOR REASONS UNKNOWN, OVER AND OVER THE ROILING WAVES I SAW A FISHWIFE, WILD AND FAIR. SHE SAT PRIMLY ON A ROCK, COMBING PEARLS FROM HER HAIR. SHE FLASHED US A COQUETTISH GRIN, AND ALL OUR HEARTS DID FLUTTER. OH IF BUT WE’D ONLY KNOWN, THE GRIN WAS FOR HER SUPPER AND SPORTS OF ALL KINDS SUCH AS JOGGING, SKIING, ROWING, SKATING, BOWLING, PARAGLIDING, CLIMBING, CRICKET GAMES OF ALL SORTS, BALLOONING, GRAPPLING, DANCING, RIDING, FISHING, HUNTING, DIVING, RACING, THROWING, DYING, SAILING, PARACHUTING, AND TIDDLYWINKS.

I RESUME, FOR REASONS UNKNOWN. IF ONE TAKES A GLASS OF WATER AND POURS THE WATER INTO ANOTHER GLASS AND THEN INTO ANOTHER GLASS, IS IT STILL THE SAME GLASS OF WATER? TAKING THE ABOVE MENTIONED EVIDENCE INTO ACCOUNT, ONE CAN ONLY COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT ALL CATS HAVE THREE NAMES. ONE THAT THEY USE, ONE THAT WE CALL THEM, AND ONE KNOWN ONLY TO THEMSELVES. OH WELL I NEVER, HAS THERE EVER BEEN A CAT SO CLEVER AS, SineQUID, EVENTUALLY YOU'VE GOT TO ASK YOUR SELF, "IS IT THEM OR IS IT ME?", WHEN EVERYONE DIES AROUND YOU, AS POSTULATED BY POSSEY OF TESTOW AND THE BOAT OF STONES, LEFT UNFINISHED, WITH WHITE BEARD, THAT MAN IN WHOLE, MAN IN BRIEF WASTES AND PINES, AND WASTES AND PINES! WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO BE A PEPPER TOO? FIRST RULE ABOUT FITE CLUB, DON'T TALK ABOUT FITE CLUB AS THE BATTLE OF IDEALISM VERSUS CYNICISM CONTINUES THE FITE AGAINST THE EVIL DECEPTICONS AND YOU TOO COULD LOSE WEIGHT WITH THE EREBUS DIET AND WORKOUT PLAN, YOURS FOR ONLY THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF YOUR SENSE OF INDIVIDUALITY!

BUT SELDOM ADRESSED ARE THE SIDE EFFECTS OF BLEED OVEREXPOSURE, SineARAH, WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY, I'M GOING TO TRIDENLAND OFFERS GREAT GROUP RATES AND MAKES A GREAT SPOT FOR ANY COMPANY GETAWAY AND YOUR CORRUPT CORPORATE EXECUTIVE. WE'RE JUST ONE VORPCALL AWAY, PEOPLE ARE STANDING BY TO TAKE YOUR CALL.

JUST WHEN I THINK I'M OUT, THEY PUT ME BACK IN! BUT I RESUME, FINISH HIM! OLD DOGS HAVE MORE DIGNITY. THE TRUTH IS, YOU CAN'T DRIVE SUCH CREATURES AWAY. THE BEST THING WOULD BE TO KILL THEM WITH FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC. DEAR CELESTIA, TODAY I LEARNED THAT NATURES DO NOT ULTIMATLEY CHANGE. SUBJECT 28, FUCK 'EM, HAVE A BURGER. THE ALL SOLVING HAMMER WILL BREAK, BECAUSE WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCK AND ROLL.

BRINGING YOU THE FUTURE, TODAY! THIS JUST IN, REPENT, REPENT, THE END TIMES ARE HERE. JINGLE, JINGLE, NO ONE LISTENS, EVERYONE SPEAKS, BUT DOES NOT LISTEN A LOAF OF BREAD IS TOAST IN WARPFIRE AND DAMNATION, ONE NATION, UNDER GOD, INADVISABLE, WITH SLAVERY AND INJUSTICE FOR ALL.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE MUSIC. IT'S TIME TO LIGHT THE LIGHTS. IT'S TIME TO MEET THE MUPPETS.

THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND BUT I'M SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED.

what exists beyond the walls. an empty room, a room without lamps, faucets, outlets, rugs, refridgeraters, couches, chairs, telephone cords, tables, pipes, lights, shelves, cabinets, clocks, candles, boxes, cases, baskets, pillows, cusions, blankets, beds, trashcans, desks, toilets, windows, doors, beams, furnace, fans, televisons, speakers, books, doilies, quilts, racks,

I MAGINE THAT. IN YOUR DREAMS.