Whiskeyception pt. 2: Slow Burn

""Whiskey." Caine said, and promptly seemed to contemplate if there was a separate universe in his glass."

---Meanwhile, In a Separate Universe Inside Caine's Glass of Whiskey---

"I spy, with Jorb's Wandering Eye, something gray."

"Is it the g-"

"Of course it's the bloody gate! There's nothing else out here!"

"There's a bush."

"It's blue!"

"More of a blue-ish gray."

"That's stupid. This is stupid. I refuse to be privy to this stupidity any furthur ."

"We could do something else."

"What else is there? We've got a flask, two spears, and some boots together, and throwing anything this close to the wall is just asking for trouble. Plus, they're a pain to clean."

"You have to work in circles with the rag."

"I was talking about the boots."

"You have to work in circles w-"

"We could see who could throw one farther, but I really doubt I want to walk on the sand barefoot in this heat."

"The wall is cool. I-"

Merry abruptly turned to look at his companion, a look of horror dawning in his eyes.

"...What?"

"The wall. It's allways cool-"

"Oh, Jorb. Oh, Jorb. Marina's face!" Merry closed the distance between them with one bound, and began shaking the younger man so hard about his shoulders that Merry's own ears began to flap. "You didn't touch it?! Tharrun, tell me you didn't touch the wall!"

Tharrun's answer came out thoroughly imcomprehensible due to being shaken rather violently.

Merry paused.

"What?"

"N-no. It's against regulations. Henry told me."

"What" Merry sighed out in an equal mix of relief and exasperation, sliding down his spear and onto the ground as all tension left his body. "Have I told you about talking to Henry?"

"He-"

"So that's what's wrong with him." Merry idly ran some of the parched dirt between his fingers. "Bad luck."

Big Bozo

Big Bozo “The Clown” Ellwood

Theme: Send in The Clowns

 
“It’s funny…because you’re dead.”

 

 

 

Class: Battle Babe (Edited slightly by Moi)

Stats: Cool +3, Hard+2, Hot+ 0, Sharp+0, Weird+3

 

Big Bozo is a hulking man dressed in colorful, fanciful entertainer’s clothes and showy armor that still manages to be surpassed in attention getting by his white grease paint covered, striking face and large, red nose. A wave of greasy, black hair falls over a hulking neck, leading to a monstrously muscular body. This clown is no joke! If those beady, indifferent eyes fall on you, pray you’re not on the wrong end of the punch line. And remember to laugh.

 

Marrote: handle (1-harm hand), head (+1 harm, metal mace), ornate (Leering Face and Tongue)

 

The Chucklebunker: rifle (2-harm, far, reload, loud), big (+1 harm,), hi-powered (+1 harm)

 

Moves:

-Visions of Death: when you go into battle, roll+weird. On a 10+, name one person who’ll die and one who’ll live. On a 7–9, name one person who’ll die OR one person who’ll live. Don’t name a player’s character; name NPCs only. The MC will make your vision come true, if it’s even remotely possible. On a miss, you foresee your own death, and accordingly take -1 throughout the battle.

“Will this be a tragedy…or a comedy.”

Science Fiction Double Feature

 

 

 

 

 

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE

+Attention! One new PARTY message recieved+
+Accesing PARTY system...+
+You have one new message; message title: "Hello." from user J

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They thought they were making a better world.

 

Old vignette I wrote years ago

We lived here once.

 

My memory, as the others, is spotty at best. Random flashes of a time before

 

          I remember the laughter I shared here. It was different then. Louder. I miss all the different cacophony of sounds that once filled the air. I’d prefer any noise over this absolute silence. It feels like it’s swallowed us whole. Eating us away. Eating us away little by little. Pieces of me are long since gone. We’ve all been picked clean. Nothing left but

 

          It was so much more cluttered here once, with things packed so tightly everywhere as if to evoke a feeling of claustrophobia. It was so different from this featureless waste. There’s nothing left, but sand now. Nothing to look at now, so we all stare into the endless horizon, the sun harshly bearing down on us as we trundle forever across the sand. We’ve walked for so long, but have an eternity to go. Never stopping. Never resting. Why are we the ones to suffer? When will we finally be allowed to

 

          I’ve fallen. The others continue on, not sparing a glance, until one jerkily stops and offers a hand. A bony hand. My own bleached arm clasps its. As it pulls me up we stare into each others featureless sockets and suddenly I remember. We’re nothing more than skeletons held together by sheer force of memory. We’re nothing more than d

 

We lived once.

The Imaginarium Librarium

Starring

The sheep

Species: sheep.

Age: ?

Sex: ?

Eyes: Boring into your soul

Other Names: That God Damn Sheep, Perdurabo, Little Eater of Dead Gods, Oh God What Is It Doing Make It Go Away
Origin: Original character

Text Color: It has no text color. Because it's a sheep. And sheep don't talk.

Home: ?

Likes: ?

Dislikes: ?

Full Body Pic: [DATA EXPUNGED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE]

Quote: "Baaa."
Theme: Underbelly

A source of both equal fascination and horror to the bar. Little is known about its intentions, and even less as to what it is.

Ate its mother. Not that seems to have stopped her.

Abilities

*???

*MAKE IT STOP

*ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts

*WHY, OH GOD, WHY

*SCIENCE DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY

*PEOPLE DO NOT DIE WHEN THEY ARE KILLED

*GRIMDARK INCOMING

*My father killed me. My mother ate me. My sister gathered up all my bones...

*YOU WERE WARNED

Items of Note

*The Golden Sphere of Setti: A powerful artifact from an alien planet; makes the sheep exactly four times bigger and stronger; A powerful drawback to this item is that it also increases the user's negative qualities by four times; hasn't been seen since the sheep's last Fite

*Zwill Crossblade: obtained after nearly killing Rain, who was using it as a weapon; Eaten

Random Trivia:"Sheep. How do they even work?"

Father Squid
Species: Mutated Human
Age: 69
Sex: Male
Eyes: Jet black
Other Names: Sargeant Squidface, Squiddy, Terror of Flea Markets Everywhere
Origin: Inspired by the Father Squid of the series Wild Cards
Text Color: Black as sin ink
Home: Our Lady of Suffering Church  in ZoofFights City, New York
Likes: peace, being of use, conversation, children, warm weather and rain
Dislikes: hate, strife, the past, himself
Full Body Pic:http://s1116.photobucket.com/albums/k568/M_Sheep/?action=view&current=FatherSquid.jpg
Quote: "I know I'm going to Hell. But I've resolved to do as much good as I can on my way there."

A man who has reinvented himself several times over the course of his life. This old man consumed by guilt heads the Our Lady of Suffering Church, assisted by Sister Alice whom he appears to have some sort of secret deal with.

Father Squid was born in the early days after the viral bombings across the east coast of the U.S., among the general panic of the populace in the wake of mutations arising from the biological attack. A mutant at birth, his biological parents promptly dumped him off at a church run orphanage where he resided until adulthood. A nun gave him the name Andrew. While there was always a rift between him and the other normal children, Father Squid was never exactly bullied. Being twice the size of the other children and built like a bull generally discouraged that. But the isolation took its toll. With only the church adults and books for for company, he matured quickly but remained very socially akward well into his adulthood.

In his young adult life he became amased in mutant culture and cast off his old name, taking on the mutant name: Squidface. Served in the Vietnam War. Afterwards, Squidface dropped off the radar for three years before becoming an active participating member in the mutant extremist terrorist group Evolutione Solutos.

Spent several years traveling the world and reading the work of great philosophers. Became a priest.

Smells faintly of the sea.

Abilities:

*Pretty Spry For An Old Guy: Father Squid's body remembers its military training despite how much he wishes to forget.

*Might of The Leviathan: Father Squid has often demonstrated what might be labeled as feats of superhuman strength, even in his senior years.

*Knowledge of the Ancients: Father Squid is well read and familiar with many different walks of life.

*Berserker Rage: Really more of a liability than an aid

*Meditation

*Gift of Gab: Father Squid can talk up a storm like noone's business, and is rarely caught without a way to talk his way out of a situation. Of course, he's talked his way into just as many.

Notable Possesions

*Hidden Weapons Cache:  hidden within labyrinthine catacombs and tunnels beneath the Our Lady of Suffering Church; one of the many weapons being a minigun unseen since the Father's debut Fite

*Modded Anti Material Rifle: custom made trigger to fit Father Squid's giant hands

*Military Chopper: Seen once when he bet it against a large sum of money

*Large Sum of Money: Status unknown; smart money's on charity

Anatomy of a Mutant:

Father Squid is giant among, standing well over thirteen feet and just thoroughly massive. Due to mutations in his penial gland, Father Squid will never stop growing. His skin is green tinted and he's entirely hairless, as well as lacking toe and fingernails. He has a nictating membrane instead of the usual mammalian eyelid. His irises are as dark as pupils from Aniridia, resulting in massive sight-loss with age.

In place of a nose, Father Squid has a mass of flexible and reactive growths resembling tentacles that hang over and obscure his mouth. Lacks earlobes.

He has a series of circular scars going up the underside of his forearms and legs; these are vestigial suckers

His body is under significant strain. Human bodies were not designed to get this big. His legs are utterly messed up.

Father Squid can hold his breath for thirty-eight minutes. He has a second set of underdeveloped lungs merged to his fully functioning primary set of lungs. His kidneys are half as efficient as a regular human.

He smells faintly of the sea.

Sister Alice

Species: ?

Age: Old

Sex: Female

Eyes: White with blindness; formerly Blue

Other Names: Black Alice, Hag

Origin: Original character

Text Color: A particularly frigid Blue

Home: Our Lady of Suffering Church

Likes: ?

Dislikes: Everything

Full Body Pic: Do you really want one?

Quote: "When everything else rots away. When everything else is taken from you. Hate endures."
Theme: The World of Midnight

WALL!!
Species: Anthropomorphic personification
Age: He's not telling.
Sex: 100% male, LADIES~
Eyes: sandstone brick
Other Names:
Origin:
Text Color: Sandy Broseph Brown, dude
Home: Apartment
Likes: booze, women, hats, and Shuma Gorath
Dislikes:
Quote:
Theme: Dare To Be Stupid

A jolly if sophmoric monster with the ability to posses anything percieved as a wall. He abuses the heck out this power at every possible oppertunity. He loves women, liquor, hats, and is Shuma Gorath's biggest fan. Not the sharpest piece of sentient masonry around, he shows a disconnect from reality that borders on disturbing...

? Blik

Species: ?

Age: 393

Sex: Neither

Eyes: two(2) occular units of obscene complexity; usually a dull mustard yellow color but tends to change when accessing further functions and utilities of Logos Drive

Other Names: Funkatron 3000, Funkatron, Funkotron, Calgon, Rainbow-bot, Rainbow-music-bot, Lite-Brite, Beep, Teddy, Ampelmännchen
Origin: Original character

Text Color: ALL THE COLORS, ALL OF THEM

Home: ?

Likes: sound of all kinds, bright and garish colors, excitement, freedom, learning, origami, Lady Purnima

Dislikes: war, meat, digestive systems, bullies, being idle, scientists who do not take responsibility for what they create

Full Body Pic: http://i1116.photobucket.com/albums/k568/M_Sheep/THINGS/mannen.png, (art credited to karen of ConceptArt.org)
Quote:"I^IIIII"
Theme Beautiful Days

Some thing that can be seen bursting into existence with a rainbow flash at the King of Beasts. It has suprisingly human-looking hands, which really only make its appearance more jarring. It has been observed moving its hands at speeds beyond the human eye a well pulling things out of thin air with a signature rainbow shimmer.

Designs pan-dimensional tech for The Factory. Speaks in incomprehensible, teeth-setting auto tune.

No one's really sure what's up with this guy and the language barrier doesn't help.

Abilities:
*Hyperspace Arsenal Utility: A pocket dimension outside the time stream accessible to Blik at any time; each of its kind have their own personal HAU; essentially where he stores his truly impressively massive amounts of random crap
Current Contents:
-1x untuned ukelele
-56x various ink pens of all kinds
-1x large ornate carved oak desk
-1x small lime green table lamp
-2x apple pies; fresh and still warm
-1x yellow bus sign from Hoboken, New Jersey
-14x green colored pencils; green colored pencils are a highly prized gag gift item in its culture
-1x curved handle bamboo cane
-1x paper 4th of July themed tophat
-6 spoons
-3 forks
-8x six-sided die
-3x twenty-sided die
-4,082x buttons of all kinds
-789x keys; has no idea what locks any of them go to
-1x padlock; has no key to it
-2x pair of boots
-1x rubber chicken
-1x purple bowling ball
-59x kettles of various sorts
-1x beret
-1x fake mustache
-1x tuba
-3x clarinets
-1x trumpet
-2x accordians
-1x gold jewel encrusted goblet
-384x pocketwatches
-802x clocks; 19x of which are grandfather clocks
-1x brick of fruitcake
-1x portable trebuchet
-1x 1980s boombox
-1x aluminum space age chair
-3x wooden chairs
-1x shovel
-5x doorknobs
-16x Mardi Gra beaded necklaces
-1x purple yo-yo
-1x man-sized carboard box
-1x tuning fork
-8,417,863x 4"x4" felt affixed hinged boxes of various individual colors
-1x brass candleholder
-6x candles
-749x various in-progress blueprints of multi-dimensional technology
-33x completed blueprints for multi-dimensional technology
-1x halogen mining lamp
-1x jade hairpin
-1x Trans-dimensional space/time stream measuring instrument; a glorified pocketwatch that's horribly confusing to read
-1x silver claw footed bathtub
-1x pumkin
-3x squash
-1x sweet potato
-1x child sized coffin; locked
-116x miscellaeous party items such as streamers, favors, noisemakers, etc
-8,752,148x sheets of paper; 2,894,516x have things written or printed on them
-410 tons of pink origami paper
-1YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO VIEW THIS CONTENT. PLEASE SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER AND REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE. A FACTORY REPRESENTATIVE WILL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMPLIANCE.                                                  
              kin written on by Devil Ed
-1x grand piano made entirely from folded origami paper; fully functioning
-1x chainsword; formerly belonged to  the slain dread pirate Captain Urkathos

*Dimensional Teleportation: Can travel instantaneously over miniscule to truly massive distances and across dimensions.

*Personal Gravity/Pressure: Blik's mody maintains the same gravity and pressurization no matter where it is.

*Metalog Filing System: Metalogged lifeforms have their energy and soul signatures, biological systems, and dimensional ocuupation ans coordinates added to the Archives; their state of helath and location are updated in real time, and these records can be accesed by Blik remotely at any time; Files that are Metalogged by Blik can only be accesed remotely by it, unless the file is given multiple remote codekey access by Blik or its homeworld authorities; can be accesed directly through the Archives by any of Blik's race.

Lady Purnima Rahshama

Species: Kapoor

Age: [REDACTED]

Sex: Maiden

Eyes: Grey

Other names: Warpdamned Xenos Bitch, Errant Codpiece, Sack of Opium and Fat, Jahām̐ Bhūta, The Mark, Princess of Trash, (*)

Text Color: A Schizophrenic Pink
Home: A touchy subject

Likes:

Dislikes:

Full Body Pic:

Quote: "I'm not a very likable person."
Theme: White Rabbit (Shifting Colors Warning?)

A Deadly Efficent designer, from weapon systems to dress styles, and coworker of Blik. A minor member of royalty, seventeenth daughter of the emperor of her homeland, and 291st in succession for the throne. Rarely seen without her red hand fan and her long handled pipe, but rarely seen in the same outfit either. Perhaps the best word to describe this giant grub is 'excitable'. She means well, but her forceful personality often leaves those around her caught up in the whirlwind of a passionate young maiden's heart.


[DATA EXPUNGED]

The Fiddlers Street Irregulars

Professor Chester Xavier Maximillian Garter Julian Sarsaparilla, MD
Species: ? Businessman
Age: Old enough to know better, young enough not to care
Sex: Gentleman
Eyes: Two moonlit pools
Other Names: The Professor, The Dancing Shadow with Eyes and Teeth

Text Color:Tainting Purple

Home: Originally from Louisiana, but a true traveller at heart.

Likes: Helping those in need

Dislikes: Interrupted business

Full Body Pic: Look down

Theme:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsRh83BXvOE&feature=related

Quote: "Won't you shake a poor sinner's hand?"

A shady figure, both figuratively and literally, and always willing to make a deal. Providing you can pay the price. He's a travelling salesman selling what you want most. You can trust him, he's a doctor! Quite possibly every salesman stereoarchetype rolled into one. Unfortunately, he does not have the longest name of the characters on my roster. His name sounds kind of made up.

Stan Ligature

Species: Construct

Age: 22

Sex: Male

Eyes: Soul-devoid black

Other names: The Amazing Toadboy!, Accountant Frog, The Worst Newscaster in The World

Text Color: Boring Black

Home: ZooFights City, USA

Likes:.....News?

Dislikes:....Um...We'll get back to you on that

Full Body Pic: He's used that same mugshot for years

Manju Verma [Deceased]

Species: Kapoor

Age: 38

Sex: Male

Eyes: Grey

Other names: The Unbreakable Blade

Text Color: Steadfast Blue-Green

Home: At his Lady's side

Likes: Purima, honor, chivalry, skill 

Dislikes: dishonorable conduct, liars, and anything that would threaten his Lady or his people

Quote:"I would crawl all the way back up from Hell itself, if my Lady commanded it."

Dr. Goosebrackle

Species: Human

Age: 58

Sex: Male

Eyes: a warm brown

Other names: That idiot who tried to kill Erebus; The Friendliest Killer in the World, Dr. Al Roker

Text Color: Harmless Black
Likes: Killing Erebus, children, animals, food

Dislikes: A living Erebus, conflict

Quote: "I'm sorry to bother you like this, sir, but could you please die?"

A doctor at Curaga General who caught caught up in some nasty mind control business. Really not that great of a doctor. Technically, a pediatritian who got hired due to the ZooFights Corporation snatching up all the talent in the area. A middle-aged stout fellow with a jolly air about him, and a practicing Buddhist, pacifistic, vegetarian.

Emperor Aadesh Anuttam Abirij Ajaatshatru Amitabh Akanksha Amitbikram Arunachaleshwara-Rahshama
Species: Kapoor
Age: 48

Sex: Male

Eyes: cutting dark

Other names: Arok, Emperor A. A. A. Rashama, Ainesh (The Sun's Glory)

Likes: Purnima

Dislikes: Purnima

Quote: "I love you. Go and never come back."

Current Emperor and ruler of the Great Kapoor Empire, and Purnima's father. He loved his wife very much.

High Priestess Aghanashini Rahshama

Species: Kapoor

Age: 39

Sex: Female

Eyes:

Other names: The Prodigal Daughter, Face of The Moon

Likes:

Dislikes:

Quote:

Lord Colonel Ekaant Rahshama

Species: Kapoor

Age: 26

Sex: Male

Eyes: Military Grade Optic

Other names: The Iron Lord, The Darkhorse Prince, Reaper General,

Likes:

Dislikes:

Quote:

Lord Bankimchandra Rahshama
Species: Kapoor
Age: 32
Sex: Male
Eyes: Brown
Other names: Chandra
Likes: "England culture", Europe, Shakespeare, Theatre, Buildings
Dislikes: Poorly designed buildings, Being called Chandra,
Quote:

 

?

Species: Cube

Age: ? 

Sex: Cube

Eyes: Non-Euclidean

Other names: That shifty tetra-eyed cube

Home: Cardboard Alley

Likes: Wealth, rare and anomalous items, Karzantium

Dislikes: Manshu Verma, Purnima, hands



 

 

 

Names on Blik's PARTY Roster

Memn

Species:

Age:

Sex:

Eyes:

Other names:

Likes:

Dislikes:

Quote:

Nines

Species:

Age:

Sex:

Eyes:

Other names:

Likes:

Dislikes:

Quote:"I don't think this is a good idea.."

Purnima Rahshama

-see main Purnima entry in Starring section

[REDACTED]

+ERROR: No such entry exists+

J

Spe#aeetiuo$@&*

I'd prefer a little privacy, thank you.-J

Last Light Hospital 
A small but productive medical institution specializing in mutant treatment and research. Defunct since Albrecht's death.

The Staff

Dr. Albrecht [DECEASED]

Species: Mutated Human

Age: 22

Sex: Male

Eyes: Brown, right eye replaced with a cybernetic prosthetic that emits a red light

Other names:

Likes: Intellect, skill, puzzles, experimentation, silence, and hard workers

Dislikes: Random chance, unfairness, ignorance, incompetence, soft-heartedness, pity, whining, uncomfortable chairs, waiting, ethics, and people

Theme: Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairy

Dr. February

Species:..Uh....Maybe.....Human?

Age:?

Sex: Male?

Eyes: filmy white-blue

Other names: ?

Likes: Dead bodies

Dislikes:

Theme:The Hearse Song, Joe Stone The Hearse Song (Spooks On Parade) Cover

Nondescript man
Species: eh, just some guy
Age: probably twenties..ish...maybe
Sex: didn't leave much of an impression
Other names: That one guy who frustrates Goops, That guy with the glasses

A bespectacled assistant of Dr. Albrecht's, often seen in proximity to the doctor. He killed Ernesto Delgada, a super-tough mutant, via a high powered anti-material rifle from nearly halfway across the city.  He seemed to be in on Dr. February's plot to murder Dr. Albrecht after opening an illegal UTG under Tenenbaum Gardens.

He's just some guy, you know?

Those guys who work at Denny's

Greg Papermaster

-Senior Manager, Jewish

Betty Whit

-Waitress who's hand suffered the ministrations of Sister Alice

Mark Freeter

-The New Guy

Johannes "Hank" Saberhaggan

-Special Operations



Bub Barkley

-Religious Fry Cook

-In touch with his feelings

Shaquila Laguanella

-That One Server Hank Dislikes

-Also a Jaguar



In other News

If one were to try and transcribe Blik's language into a written medium, this is probably as close as you could get.

http://adamlaskowitz.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/applebaum-Metaphysics_of_Notation.jpg

The sheer bulk of data being transmitted in a typical expressed idea as conveyed by a member of Blik's race is too much for even Purnima to understand without extensive artificial means. Essentially, Blik has been actually speaking a shorthand derivitive of his language in all bar appearances*


*A language based on means Blik's race used to communicate to outside dimensions before The Three Hour War, as codified by Purnima Rahshama and Blik