Dear Diary,
Happy New Year! The annual complex party was BAWS, I vomited eggnog EVERYWHERE! Yeah, Ern didn't really like that....But even he couldn't stay mad with the spread Gran put out. I've never heard of ANYONE who can resist her cooking. dude, I don't even know how that much food can come out of one kitchen
new theory: Gran is actually a Time Lord and the kitchen is her TARDIS.
Even Roomie seems, dare I say it, HAPPY today. or at least I haven't heard him groan or moan all day.
-JAN 3,
Dear Diary,
Saw the Spider Sisters talking to Gran this evening. God, couldn't they have talked to her at a reasonable hour? They creep me the fuck out, and I don't like them being all alone with Gran like that, even if it is just to rent another room.
Geez, that's the whole third floor they've bought out now for their bug collection.
-JAN 12,
Dear Diary,
Ugh. Roomie's poetry club starts up again today. Why do they have to meet here?!
Just kill me now.
-JAN 13,
Dear Diary,
How hard is it to use a Goddamn coaster?! That table was teak, damnit!
-JAN 17,
Dear Diary,
SHOPPING LIST, NOTE TO SELF:
-bread
-eggs
-breaded eggs
-coffee
-carrot sticks
-Belvarian clam jelly
- banana guacomole
-energon
-eye of newt
-pipe cleaner
-oranges
-crow
-lean cut of horsemeat
-2x blue rubies
-18lbs tapioca pudding
-toilet paper
-JAN 28,
Dear Diary,
Work is haaaaaaard. Why can't any hot girls work in my departmet. They're all in IT, s'not fair.
-FEB 2,
Dear Diary,
Roomies going on about existential angst and the stifling of the creative mind again. Seriously contemplating blugeoning him to death with my cereal spoon. If only it wouldn't leave such a huge mess for Ern to clean up. 'cuz it might make him start leaving alligators in the bathtub again.
-FEB 16,
Dear Diary,
Saw a goat today. Kinda wierd to see one in the dimension of coke and glass.
-FEB 22,
Dear Diary,
I got to hang out with the coolest of coolest bros, and my best friend, SHUMA GORATH!!!!!!!
he kinda ragged on the Bar the whole time though. Kinda a downer. But Still! Allways a totally awesome day to see him.
note: cancel tennis practice tomorrow. You can't play with one eye, silly! That's what you get for being an idiot and questioning Shuma Gorath~
Ugh, Roomie's drunk up all the coffee again. I hate when he does that, he knows I need it when i hafta work late! I even made five pots. Dude's, like, addicted or sumpthin.
-MARCH 4,
Dear Diary,
Dusted hat collection. I think I'll wear my favorite hat today. Sine gave it to me! That's what makes it my favorite!
-MARCH 17
Dear Diary,
I do not know what to do. I do not want to hate Sine. But everyone is saying she is a bad person, and I thought we got rid of the bad person in Sine so she was good now, but everyone says she is bad.
But she's not a bad person! She gave me a hat, and bad people do not give me hats!
But I didn't say that. Beacuse I didn't want Jonesy to hate me and I didn't want them to get mad and call me bad person and hate me
-April 1,
Dear Diary,
APRIL FOOLS!~
I made you think I was going to write in you, BUT THEN I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!1!!!111!
im lonely.
-April 7,
Dear Diary,
I should do something nice for Jonesy. She just got out of the hospital and people made of flesh are so fragile. I bet those mean paparazzi are already pestering her again and making her feel even worse.
I got it!~
I will make them all go away and then everyone will be happy again.
And then I'll have cake because cake is totally awesome.
-----
---ROUGHLY AN HOUR LATER, JONESY'S PRIVATE MESSAGING INBOX---
HELLO, JONESY. YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSAGE!
Message sent by: LightHospital.sever/privateline
Contents of message: "Mrs. Svilzerian, would you care to explain to me why a growing total of thirty men and women have entered my hospital with no common connection; other than being in critical condition via internal trauma, a career in journalism, and having at some point worked on a news item about you and/or your husband? A prompt answer would be most appreciated, as it is quickly growing tiresome to keep this information from going public."
